Emptyness

Working to achieve it but never getting near.. it keeps on trippin and flippin on you.. your so close your tryn to feel it but no way its gonna let you take it.. time after time you clear up your mind and go in with all your powers and desires.. it lets you through it lets you take your steps but you only get as far as seeing it.. its your dream its where your smile awaits. but youll never take it im a survivor no1 can deny that, a hero of my own ill always say that.. crawled out of a grave i keep on regretting that cuz since i did i was introduced to this whole new life you see.. where you work and fight to be and watch 'life' wreck it on the spot while your half asleep. why did i have to face that why me.. this isnt how its supposed to be.. posing a smile and sending joy but deep within me im just a broken toy. no story or a purpose in this planet to serve, ran around the globe found hundred hearts of gold but none were mine to hold. on a daily basis i lose them battles with life.. ive got a tear tryn to escape an eye and fake a smile with lots of pain inside.. people all around seem to be doing fine life doesnt seem to mind.. how much more ? when will it stop ? i lost it all.. broken and torn inside out. a lost soul an empty mind and a broken heart thumping cause it doesnt know how to stop. i pray for it to change.. please my life is no game.. i lost them happiest years they say and i nod like it doesnt matter as if theyre gonna come again.. if only my blood had a say, oh man it would say the scariest things.. under that flesh i feel that flow of rage. it wont stop not until it sees a change.. cuz man i tried givin life an excuse i tried to find a reason but even the closest people arent able to feel it and i cant even bare im like a volcano thats holding its deadliest eruption, like a suicide bomber wanting to push that trigger. my levels of hope are drained out, can you change that? i give in.. i dont wanna face it.. paralyse me break me take my breathes i dont mind even death.. just make that pain go away im trapped in my own life.. im unable to run from me im dead but im living cuz life is enjoy playing tricks on me.. a lab rat nothing more nothing less.. feeding me that poison all day then givin me a moment to see bright light.. ive seen enough of my dreams get shattered away.. i cant even share that kind of pain. all i ask is to disconnect me from this life.. end me in peace.. take me away quietly please. i beg of you :( please